Tag: faith

Feeling

Lately I’ve been thinking so much about “feeling” God. Probably because I’m in a season where I don’t FEEL Him much, He is here, there is no doubt. Whether it’s emotions or some spiritual experience that have been absent, I’m not totally sure; but I know He promises He’s here, and I know it’s true.

The feeling part is this weird thing that God allows us at times and in seasons, but is by no means the most primary aspect of our relationship with Him. A good friend encouraged me with this, “feelings are real but not always Truth.” Process that a second.

I think about the people who’s faith we admire so much in the Word, there were times when we know they experienced God so tangibly, but others where they were in such desperate situations and nothing but His promises to cling to. Moses and the burning bush, feeling God, in probably one of the most real ways possible, but then acting out of his flesh, hitting the stone, and being kept out of entering the promise land. Paul on the road to Damascus HEARING audibly from God, but then being locked in prison and beaten. David experiencing the strength of God, as his victory, as he watched the stone hit Goliath’s head knowing only the power of God could defeat the giant, but then pleading for forgiveness and asking God to be near to him after committing murder and adultery. These men are heroes of our faith, but have experienced such drastically different experiences throughout different points in their walk with Jesus. I admire them so much, but I function as if I’m expecting a different path, an easier path.

I’m currently clinging to the Truth of His Word, thankful for hope beyond this world, and a reality beyond what is felt here (and listening to this song on repeat). If you’re in a similar place, keep pressing on, cry out to God, this is the part of the running the race and fighting the good fight that takes the most out of us, but the mountains make the victories that much sweeter. He tells us to cast EVERY care on Him, obey. This is me preaching to myself as much as it is to anyone else. I’m right there with you.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Cor 4:16-18

Praying for you friends.
xo,
Jac

The Beach

These are probably some of my favorite photos Jake’s ever taken of us. They capture the kids and their personalities so perfectly. This is so much our life lately, not perfect sunset beaches every day, but just their all over the place-ness, and joy. They have so much joy, I want to bottle it up and drink it in slow – I need this type of joy. In a place where you can easily have the life sucked out of you, moments like this that fill you up are so needed; we don’t take time for this enough. Praying we can grow in our intentionality to make more space for this.

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Christmas 2015

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Each Christmas since having Hudson has been particularly impactful on me spiritually. I just remember his first Christmas and understanding this new level of the magnitude of Christ coming as a baby, and the Father sending him in this way. As I held Hudson, seeing how fragile and vulnerable he was I just couldn’t believe God would entrust His perfect son to a sinful world. And the weight of the fact that He sent Him knowing He was sending Him for the purpose of  eventual death is just mind blowing.

Our Christmas this year was really good, really simple and included a lot of good food, staying in pjs all day, cuddling, and trying to help my two sickies get better. Jake slept half the day and finally broke his fever last night and Hudson was on and off all day, alternating between feeling gross and having more energy than he knew what to do with. Again I was just hit with the reality that this is what Christ came for; he subjected himself to humanness, to sickness, an imperfect world, and imperfect people.

Being pregnant at Christmas is officially one of my favorite things! Feeling this little tiny human swirl around inside me and being so aware of the fragility of his or her life and God’s sustaining power above the power of my own body is just amazing and drove the reality of all this home even more. Christ came in human form, He came to be with us, and to save us.
Read this from Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening devotional yesterday morning and loved it! “Immanuel, God with us in our nature, in our sorrow, in our lifework, in our punishment, in our grave, and now with us, or rather we with him, in resurrection, ascension, triumph, and Second Advent splendour”
I hope your Christmas was full of the celebration of Jesus and the amazing gifts of salvation and grace!
Merry Christmas!
Xoxo,
Jac
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Conviction

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Sometimes {OFTEN} what I need is a solid dose of conviction paired with a little perspective. And as God often seems to do, He delivered exactly what He knew I needed at the exact moment I needed it.

A few weeks ago I started having pretty consistent regular cramping, went to the Doctor, checked it all out, baby is doing great, my body just seems to be freaking out. So the Doctor put me on, “moderate” bed rest.” Which apparently means, slowing down, only doing what I need to, and stopping as soon as there’s any pain, preferably beforehand. My idea of what I need to do, and my body’s idea of what I need to do have turned out to be pretty different. I would feel like I was doing nothing, and would still be in consistent pain – doing nothing with a 2 year old is pretty relative. Regardless, I was left frustrated, a little worried, and walking down a road of bitterness. As bitterness often does my walk quickly became a sprint, and I was in a full on bitterness-pitty-party-rut. It was honestly just ugly.

Sunday one of our pastor’s taught on entitlement, well … God so gently corrected me and completely just changed my whole perspective. I don’t deserve to have an easy pregnancy, the reality is, I don’t deserve to be able to be pregnant at all. If I were to focus on what I truly deserve, I’d remember that everything I have, all of it, is just God’s immeasurable grace; because even the hardest things are nothing compared to what I deserve.

So in place of the busy advent calendar of ice skating in Pershing Square, endless Christmas light searches, and “perfect” this or that I had created, we will be laying low, doing what my body allows, and soaking up time at home together. Truly, I love all the celebrations that go along with Christmas, but being forced to be at home and getting to focus more on what this holiday is actually all about, is a sweeter and more necessary gift than I could have known to ask for.

Happy advent, Merry Christmas!

xo,
Jac

You can listen to the message from Sunday here