I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how as a mom I’m always second guessing myself. How I prioritize my time with Hudson and Sofia, my time with Jake, my time with other people, not to mention time on my own; it has become somewhat of an unexpected battle. There really are only so many hours in a day, and I never realized the value of every single minute the way I do since having kids. I have so much respect for moms of four and five and more kids. I don’t know how they do it, and yet they are some of the moms I look up to the most . My own mom somehow balanced it all so well. You always hear about the duck; how it’s calm on the surface but paddling like crazy under the water, I imagine it must be something like that.
I am constantly thinking to myself, what is the most important thing for today? As an avid list maker and prioritizer, this seems logical. But, I think I’m learning that with kids, “important,” doesn’t follow the same rules that the rest of life does, because with kids you never really know what the next day is going to hold. When Hudson falls and scrapes his knee and he needs an extra ten minutes of cuddles, or when Sofia is teething and wants to only be held by me all-day-long. When the day is just off and you need to throw out all the plans and BE more than you need to DO. These things are the most important. Ultimately the organic balanced meals, the limited screen time, the outdoor physical activity, the at least 30 minutes of book reading – they’re all good, but really I don’t think they’re the things that are the most important. Taking the time to see where they’re at and what they need that day – that is more important. And more than anything it’s really just love – that’s what they need more than anything – that is most important. It takes a lot of different forms, it’s usually not quantifiable, it usually can’t be checked off a to-do list, but that is what I think will shape these tiny souls more than anything else.
So if you’re struggling like I am, give yourself a break and take a step back; if you’re even thinking about anything regarding what benefits your kids, it’s probably because you love them more than life itself. You’re doing great, mama!